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I hate to do this for the third week in a row, but I won’t be able to play this week, as I have to be in NH for a doctor’s appointment thru Wednesday.

Graveyard Massacre

Dhalsim’s items:
metamagic rod – cold
magic coin – mr. owl’s gambit
3 bird quaal’s feather token
1 lg gong
1 ceremonial dagger
1 magical coat rack
1 apparatus of the crab
11,305 gp

Loot from the battle:
mwk heavy shield
mwk full plate
mwk scimitar
headband +6 wisdom
belt +6 dex

Just Add Water

[Placeholder until Howard wants to type here]


Hey guys,
It looks like I will not be able to play tomorrow, and was wondering if we would be able to move the game to Thursday this week, as it is my only available night.

Also, Brian asked me if we could bring in a friend of his, Howard. I said this would probably not be a problem, as long as you guys are fine with it. He has little experience with 3.x, but seems like a fun guy.

Please leave any responses/thoughts as comments to this post.


Someone Call the Game Warden, I Think We Hit A...

Aboard the ship, you will find the following:

Format: Item Description. (magic aura)

1. A large, sealed iron barrel big enough to hold two medium creatures. (Strong evocation and transmutation)
2. A heavy flail with a red-stained head. (Moderate enchantment (compulsion))
3. A padded and slightly bulky vest, made from dyed, red-brown cloth. (Faint necromancy)
4. A dark wooden shaft, the tip of which holds a piece of hard, chalk-like stone. (Moderate abjuration)
5. An arrow made of lightweight metal. (Strong necromancy)

Schemin' the Scheme


I figured this might be useful since we haven’t had one of these since… well… forever.

The party, after defeating Walter, decided to rest and plan their next step. During this time it was discovered that the spell used to make Walter into a dragon-orc-thing wasn’t undone and would turn him into an abomination. In what is probably the quickest series of actions this party has taken in a long time, the group gathered the necessary spell components, went to a half-dragon liche, and saved Walter by ripping his skin off and regrowing it.

Then everybody got drunk, Yolanda, Walter, and Dhalsim became addicted to alcohol, and Dhalsim joined the Sorcerer’s guild.

After this, the party went three different ways. Liana and Dhalsim went to discuss creating a Sorcerer’s guild in Acheron; Yolanda, Alice, and Randolph took their cycloptic bounty to the king; and Ajani crafted items and considered buying a church.

With the exception of Ajani, once their respective tasks were done, the party met up on the King’s lawn and worked together to get word out about the new Sorcerer’s Guild. It’s now a budding school a mile or so outside of the capitol city Hearth. Nice little place, I promise. Until it explodes.

Again, the party split up. Some traveled around Acheron building alliances with various groups, and Alice and Randolph traveled to Kalmor to look for interest in trade and business partners. Yoland made friends and Randolph made a colony, and all was well and good in the world. It just took forever.

After this, the party, replete with Ajani and new magical items, talked with the goblins, the hoard, and a group of raiders on magical mounts. With the former two, they made fast friends after ignoring the goblin elders and Liana flashing flesh at the hoard. The Magical Mounties on the other hand tried to capture Yolanda (A.K.A. “Green Lightning”) as she’d apparently fetch a high price somewhere. A set of magical flying boots and a haste spell later, Yolanda and Liana broke the travel speed barrier, and informed the party they had more or less started a war with a better equipped, more disciplined army.

And so here we are, on the brink.

The current plan

  • The basic strategy for when the big battle begins would be to lure them out of their city-fortress. I’m not sure how we do this. I know Brian can alter the door. If he turns it into dust, I can use a gust of wind scroll to blow the dust at them.

  • Once on the battlefield, resetting traps (explosive & theatrical) Alice would place, and low-rock walls Dhalsim makes herd the land-based units towards a choke point.

  • Dhalsim would then use an ice wall to impede their progress. In not-12am-strategic-planning-mode (i.e. “fuck it up and lets go home” mode), this seems rather impractical as the wall can only cover so much of the battlefield. Brian mentioned it last night, but either we both thought we could work around it or I ignored it and simply kept going. Either way, an acid pit would be waiting for the soldiers who make it through the wall.

  • Though, Randolph’s calvary could handle the people who go around the wall with ride-bys. Nothing like creepy cute things with lances on dogs to fuck up your charge past the traps and pits of melting death.

  • Through the course of this. Liana and Ajani could find other ways to help herd or demoralize the army. I’m not sure what their capabilities are though. It’s something Alice would probably ask about in game, even if I didn’t think to. The acid line she used in the underground city would be incredibly useful, and any area of effect spells to either disperse their ranks or destroy them would be great.

Extra information

For Shaun and Missy, since this information was imparted on the party after you left:

  • These super myth monster riders are well-organized if you couldn’t tell by their love of walls and phalli.

  • They are led by seven ogre magi and have either created contracts with / or beaten different monstrous races into submission.

  • They have a large ranch of horses that the griffins feed on. This seems to be the major purpose of the horses’ existence there.
  • Note: Alice’s thought is to break this contract by freeing the horses, and preventing the bandits from getting any more. This will more than likely cause the griffins, who have been getting easy meals, to either leave or become unrestful. Dissonance in an army is a very fun thing to manipulate.

  • With the hill giants they give various slaves and a lot of shiny objects in return for armed support.
  • Note: With some more investigating, we could intercept the shipments or trades. If the giants don’t get their money, why would they fight for this army? Alice would prefer to wipe them out, but she imagines Yolanda will at least want to try to set them straight.

  • The ogre magi are also enslaving Yeti and forcing them to fight.
  • Note: It won’t be as easy as it sounds, I imagine, but freeing them would be the best route. They’re the most innocent of any of the groups in this army. We might even get them to join us in the upcoming battle. Then we could have ewoks and wookies.

Other than this info, Alice also learned that the Ogre Magi appear to have aspirations past just being bandits. There are suspicions that these guys are working towards something like creating their own nation or bringing “their boss” back. What their boss is, she couldn’t find out. For this reason, we should either keep one alive throughout the fight or take one as a hostage.

As loathe Alice is to admit it, if Dhalsim’s teleport can take unwilling creatures held in inescapable chains, she’ll need his help here. (No offense Brian, you’re a good player, but she doesn’t like Dhalsim. In many ways, he’s been the antithesis of her.)

Other Plater’s Ideas


  • Ask the druids near the goblins for their support. This will probably require quite a bit of negotiating considering they’ve been killing the goblins and vice versa for years now. We’d probably have to settle the issues with the goblins mining as well as granting protection for the druids’ forests from lumber-jacks and the like.


  • Find Walter and see if he knows anything about these Ogre Magi and/ or if the Templar are involved. This would help us figure out what we’re up against. At the moment, it doesn’t seem likely that the Templar are here since everything Alice and the party has learned about them seems dragon-centric. However, this “Big Boss” (Yay, Metal Gear Solid reference) could be a dragon or something similar to Ajani. It’s worth looking into.


  • This wasn’t mentioned until much later in the game, and I had forgotten it until just now. It would probably be beneficial to take out the leaders before the war starts. Whether by rendering them unconscious or by simply killing them.

  • A thought I had was that we could try and pit them against one another by either kidnapping or assassinating one and making it seem as if the other magi were suspect. Sometimes the best way to fight an orderly, disciplined army with a motley crew is to remove the order and discipline.
Dragon Milker

Brainstorm stuff you want to do during downtime next session:

General Questions:
Where are we staying/meeting up over the course of the next 2 months? Sigil? Hearth? Somewhere in Acheron?


  • Escort cyclops to make statement at Hearth: apologize for involvement, share any information known
  • Find honest work or at least safe haven for the cyclops (start by asking at Hearth after statement, otherwise take direction from his inclination, avoid prior influences)
  • Recruit support for uniting/founding colonies and trade/travel routes in the south: diplomats, traders, surveyors, carpenters, blacksmiths, entrepreneurs, trailblazers and especially networkers who can contact larger groups of these useful colonials. (Yolanda can recruit up to 10 1st level followers, 1 2nd, recruiting in Sigil, Hearth AND around Acheron)


  • Yo dawg, I heard you like items, so I’m crafting your crap so you can craft in your craft while you craft craft craft craft!
  • Ajani can only craft for 8 hours a day and can’t maintain the pace if he’s traveling or otherwise unable to return to a reasonable workplace during the day, so as long as I can get back to my workplace each day Ajani can do some downtime activities too (esp. wherever he ends up crafting, like sigil?), any ideas?


  • I would hope to travel to some of the established communities of Acheron in order to offer the support of Kalmor. Open trade agreements, map out caravan and shipping routes, draft economic and political embassies, etc.
  • Wouldn’t mind travelling with another of the party, especially if they need a bodyguard.
  • Eventually would like to meet the king Tassan Ardec, but will probably do this in game. (note :Randolph does not know of the history between King Ardec and the king of Kalmor).
  • Learn how to make so many demograph references with just two characters like NJ does. Fershizzle.
A-maze-ing Turn of Events

For notation’s sake:

  • total found item cost (items worth 1/2 price to sell): 26,937 gp 5 sp
  • total coin found: 4,000 pp
  • total assets: 66,937 gp 5 sp
  • share per person (total divided 5 ways): 13,387 gp 5 sp

Each share can be taken in cash and/or 1/2 price items (buying the items from the group essentially).

I hope that clarifies things a bit. As Eric put it, this is pretty fair way of handling loot, but also a bit more complicated than some are used to. I’ve only explained it because it was brought up. If people have another preference now or in the future just speak up. Otherwise, I can do the accounting as long as someone else is willing to write up the inventory sheet from the GM (lists and I don’t tend to get along).


Here’s a loot from the last adventure:
Walter’s Items:
+1 Shocking Burst Rapier (9,160 gp)
Bracers of Armor +4 (8000 gp)
Ring of Protection + 2 (4000 gp) – taken by Missy
Broach of Shielding (absorbs magic missile shot) with 77 left to absorb (577 gp / 5 sp)

I can take on loot listing from now on. I’m good with keeping track of inventory.


Business Agreement

While Yolanda recovered from their battle-most-epic and being recently deceased, Alice and Dhalsim discussed the nature of Alice’s assignment to the group. After some discussion it is agreed that she will join the group in exchange for some nice “tracks of land” (some new D cups, perhaps).

Oh no we di-unt!

Much to the chagrin of Yolanda (and everyone else present), she awakes to find out a great evil was brought back to save her. Alice, Dhalsim and Ajani agree to help right this by finding this evil and once more tipping the scales in the favor of good. Objective laid out, some quest rewards received and a neck-breaking compass in tow, the group sets out to find their man/woman/it.

Diplomat Dumbo and the 5 Finger Discount

The group, sans Ajani, briefly re-enters Hearth for some catch-up with the magistrate and snooping around about their likely destination Minotaurs’ Keep. Their only notable lead brings them south to a Bandit Encampment after accumulating Ajani again. A peaceful meeting with one of their members reveals little more about the Minotaur, save that they are less than welcoming and bandits use them for hazing (of sorts). However, Alice is mistakenly allowed near sensitive areas and she punishes the bandits brutally with her deft hands for the mistake.

Spelunking, for business AND PROFIT!

With their new “treasure map” in hand, the group sees fit to pro-actively procrastinate and better equip themselves before heading east to the Minotaur. The group quickly finds the area laid out on the map and begins exploring the bandit’s hidden cache only to find out that it less resembles a cave than being inside an angry inside out electric porcupine for it’s hospitality.

A Curious Find

The group scouts and pillages a couple rooms while avoiding most of these un-pleasantries before happening upon a terrible skeleton and an egg. Dhalsim rushes to examine the egg, Ajani spends quite some time with the bones and Alice searches the room.

Sasha: The Final Solution

The remains and egg both prove to be those of black dragons. Dhalsim propose selling the egg, Ajani condemns it’s fate to that of evil and suggests destroying it, Yolanda scorns the taking of a life before it could even choose a path, let alone evil and Alice is not generally enthused by any of this. The compromise is made to sell the egg to Sasha Jackson, for the farm, as she will give it a fair and virtuous upbringing and “damn well take it out of this world if she has to”, just as promised to Yolanda or Ajani.

Wait Here, We’ll Be Back.

After determining this plan of action and Alice confirming there is nothing else hidden, the group retires from the dead end and seals the passage until their return. They then proceed down a long straight descent, previously pried open and scouted by Yolanda and Ajani…


In-game time passed to-date: 81 days

XP gained to-date: 27,000

Halfling Were-Terrasque

While at the magistrate’s office, our heroes were introduced to Alice Michelle, who would be joining them in their adventure. After a plan was formulated, the party set off to Sigil to gear up for the coming battle. Afterward, the “troops” were gathered to “storm” the mountaintop.

Atop Dipnokk’s Shame, a hearty battle was fought between our adventurers and the skeleton of Thorkomph Dipnokk, and between the Guardians of the Gates and the Magus of Chains. Dipnokk dealt out some serious hurt to a few of the combatants, killing Big Momma outright before he was brought down by a mysterious figure who donned Ajanni’s shield. Distraught, Ajanni tried everything to bring his mother back to him. Sympathetic toward him, Alice asked the Guardians if there was anything they could do.

Despite their obvious discomfort at the idea, they summoned their boss, the Templar of Scales, who agreed to resurrect Yolanda under one condition. He told them that the balance of power must be maintained. In order to bring Yolanda back, an evil power of equal magnitude must also be brought back into the world.

All agreed that whatever the consequences, they could handle them together. Yolanda was brought back to life and she and Ajanni were teleported back to their home on the farm. The remaining party members asked to be brought there also, and now they are all together, recuperating.

In-game time passed to-date: 49 days

XP gained to-date: 27,000


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